It’s been an entire year since everything changed.
One year ago today, I left my office in tears, completely overwhelmed with what the future might hold. I had no idea that I was about to embark on an emotionally draining and confusing time in my life, filled with fear and anxiety, and eventually a period of calmness that I hadn’t experienced in years.
They say that grief often happens in waves and this is especially true when life is abruptly pulled from beneath you. In the early days of the pandemic, I longed for boozy filled brunches with friends and weekends of chaos in our family. Tensions were high, not only in our own house, but throughout the world. Hundreds of thousands of people would die in the months to come.
My fears turned to anger during those early days of wiping down groceries and constant temperature checks. Days blended into one another as life continued moving on without us. Zoom calls replaced in person get togethers, and house projects that had been neglected for years suddenly became front and center.
In those really early days, I would wake up in the early morning hours, with my eyes glued to the TV. Others tried to get me to stop watching but I just couldn’t. The tents, morgues, and tear filled eyes consumed my brain. My own anxiety flared. It seemed never ending.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been an entire year, and yet, we’re here.
I’m here.
I’m surviving.
I’m bruised.
I’m calm.
I’m drained.
I’m hopeful.
I’m excited.
I’m tired.
I’m worn.
I’m alive.
Everything has changed.
